lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
