She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My life is pants optional.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
