If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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