M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize