talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
