anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize