Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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