so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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