I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
