Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
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The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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