so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize