I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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