Someone shit on the floor
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
