he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
