remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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