He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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