I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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