so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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