Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
