you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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