my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I am spending my child support on dildos
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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