I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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