Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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