3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
