im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
