Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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