the condom got lost in my hair
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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