thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
