True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize