really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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