I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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