I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
