Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize