I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
