They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
