I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
