she smelled like a LAN party
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
