i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize