I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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