Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
