Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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