Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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