Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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