totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
