Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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