i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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