yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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