Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
