he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
