I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize