Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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