if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
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This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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