Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
