Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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