what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
