you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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