When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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