I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize