So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
