Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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