There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We were destined to go to rehab together
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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