I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so let's talk penis.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
