I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
