Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
