You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
