..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
